catskilt: (kangin smiles)
[personal profile] catskilt
Because this cracked [livejournal.com profile] thundersquall and I up so much, it deserves to be shared with everyone too :D (mostly Singaporeans, though, since I'm not sure how much a non-Singaporean would understand) but anyway:

Super Junior as Singaporean Boyfriends

And yes, they pretty much fail...very badly. Except for Siwon and Sungmin.

So, Super Junior as Singaporean boyfriends in various scenarios! Written by both me and [livejournal.com profile] thundersquall :D

On Going to the Beach to Watch a Movie Screening

Kyuhyun

You: Let's go to the beach tomorrow, there's a free screening of Ice Age.
Kyuhyun: …what for?!
You: It'll be fun!
Kyuhyun: …just download it lah!

Kibum

You: Let's go to the beach tomorrow, there's a free screening of Ice Age.
Kibum: Okay.
You: It'll be so much fun!
Kibum: Yup. Okay. If you want to go lor.

Donghae

You: Let's go to the beach tomorrow, there's a free screening of Ice Age.
Donghae: OMG OKAY!!!! :DDDD!
You: We can bring like, beehoon and stuff!
Donghae: OKAY! WAH, BABY AH, WILL BE QUITE ROMANTIC HOR!

Ryeowook

You: Let's go to the beach tomorrow, there's a free screening of Ice Age.
Ryeowook: Ooh!! So fun! Okay! /claps hands
You: Can bring some food…
Ryeowook: Okay! I will make beehoon, curry chicken, fried chicken, nuggets, fried rice, …what else ar? Oh yeah, can bring fruits too for dessert, eh I go NTUC buy strawberries to eat with cream hehe.

Kangin

You: Let's go to the beach tomorrow, there's a free screening of Ice Age.
Kangin: Har, what fuck Ice Age.
You: That cartoon lah, last time got show one, very nice.
Kangin: Ka ni nah, beach damn hot lah.
You: But it'll be fun…
Kangin: Some more sure got the cheebye mosquito one.
You: But I really want to go leh…
Kangin: okokokokoklah. Wah lau eh. I call my kaki come along.

Heechul

Heechul will not go.



Finding the Movie Screening Area

Sungmin

You: Where is it ar?
Sungmin: Oh, it's the big space near Barbeque Pit 24, around the Marina Cove area, so should be about five more pits away…ah, there, can see people walking there!

Kibum

You: Where is it ar?
Kibum: Should be somewhere around here…

Kyuhyun

You: Where is it ar?
Kyuhyun: /plays PSP while walking

Kangin

You: Where is it ar?
Kangin: (turns to friend) Eh that place where sia?
Kangin's friend: There lah! You blind ar, cannot see?
Kangin: What fuck you dare to talk to limpeh like that! You want die is it! I give you die then you know!

Donghae

You: Where is it ar?
Donghae: BABY, LOOK AT THE SEA!
You: Huh?
Donghae: OMG that baby is damn cuuuute!
You: I think it's near Pit 24…
Donghae: Eh eh baby, let's go see what those kids are doing!
You: No!! We're going to watch the movie!
Donghae: Just five minutes lah! Eh go leh! Looks like a sand castle!

Siwon

You: Where is it ar?
Siwon: Don't worry, my chauffeur will drop us at the carpark right where it is.


During the Movie Screening

Kyuhyun

You: This movie is so gooood…
Kyuhyun: /playing PSP
You: Eh, watch lehhh.
Kyuhyun: Orh. /puts PSP away
[five minutes later]
Kyuhyun: Eh, tell you what lah. I go arcade first, later you finish then you text me. /disappears

Kibum

You: This movie is so goooood.
Kibum: Yup, it's quite nice.
You: It makes me cry…
Kibum: Yeah it's okay. As long as you like it.

Donghae

You: This movie is so gooood.
Donghae: Yeah. /fidgets
[one minute later]
Donghae: Eh, baby ar, the sea looks damn nice.
You: Huh?
Donghae: Eh eh really nice leh. Let's go swimming.
You: No!
Donghae: Harrr. Why? It really looks nice leh! Eh baby, go lehh.
You: Noooooo.
Donghae: But it really looks nice! Eh go leh. Goooo. Babyy, go leh. Goooo. Don't have to swim, just walk around in the water can already. Go leh.
You: AH OKAY LAH!!

Sungmin

You: This movie is so gooood.
Sungmin: I know, I really like the part where they find the baby, so funny, haha.
You: Maybe we can go home watch Ice Age 2! That one also very funny.
Sungmin: Okay, I ask Kyuhyun help us download!

Siwon

You: This movie is so gooood.
Siwon: Even better that we're watching it together. Want some more wine, darling?

Kangin

You: This movie is so gooood.
Kangin: Ka ni nah, got mosquito bite. Eh wah lau why never bring the mosquito repellent? EH YOU DIAM LAH YOU DARE SUCK LIMPEH'S BLOOD I KAN YOU TILL YOU SIBEH FLAT ON THE GROUND!!!!!! LAO CHEEBYEEEE!!!


On Planning a Holiday

Sungmin

You: Let's go for a holiday! I really need a break.
Sungmin: Hey, great idea. How about Japan? We can do Tokyo and Kyoto. Then if got time, then go to Nagoya also.
You: Oooh sounds good.
Sungmin: I'll go check with travel agent whether got special deals on ANA :)

Siwon

You: Let's go for a holiday! I really need a break.
Siwon: Of course, sweetheart. Anything for you. Where do you want to go?
You: I don't know…somewhere really nice and relaxed.
Siwon: How does Europe sound? We can go to my villa in Switzerland.

Eunhyuk

You: Let's go for a holiday! I really need a break.
Eunhyuk: Orh, where you want go?
You: I don't know leh...how about Japan? Got airfare promos now, only $600!
Eunhyuk: Harrr….errrrr, eh, dear ar, I saw in newspapers today that Tiger got promo to KL, only $1!
You: …
Eunhyuk: Eh some more got hostel in PJ, say very near the train one, only 25 ringgit per night!

Donghae

You: Let's go for a holiday! I really need a break.
Donghae: Okay! If baby wants, we go! Where you wanna go?
You: I don't know…
[ten minutes later]
Donghae: BABY!!! HYUKJAE SAY GO KL! GOT GOOD AIRFARE!!!

Kangin

You: Let's go for a holiday! I really need a break.
Kangin: Ah, you want go where?
You: Hmm, how about Bali?
Kangin: Also can, I ask my friend, he every minute go Bali, sure can gimme lobang for discount at hotel one.
[fifteen minutes later]
Kangin: CHEEBYE THE BALI WEATHER HOT LIKE FUCK CAN?! 40 DEGREES CAN!? YOU SIAO WANT GO THAT KIND OF PLACE FOR WHAT? SAUNA ISSIT? GO JAPAN LAH! LIMPEH SPONSOR!

Leeteuk

You: Let's go for a holiday! I really need a break.
Leeteuk: How about Japan?
You: Oh yes!
Leeteuk: Great! We can go watch Morning Musume, AKB48…oh, must visit the maid café!

Kibum

You: Let's go for a holiday! I really need a break.
Kibum: Okay, sure.
You: Where shall we go?
Kibum: It's up to you.
You: How about Japan?
Kibum: Yup, sure.


On an Overseas Trip

Leeteuk

You: What do you want to eat? Hey this cafe looks good!
Leeteuk: Oh my god no let's go into that one over there!
You: Hah why... the food like not much variety leh...
Leeteuk: But the waitress damn chio can!!! See her figure is la mei one lor!!

Kyuhyun

You: Can we go to that famous bazaar later?
Kyuhyun: What do you want to do there?
You: Shop lah! So many bargains...
Kyuhyun: Wah lao. So boring. Aiyah you go yourself can, I go to the hotel arcade, you finish already you come find me there.

Kibum

You: What shall we do today?
Kibum: Anything is fine.
You: Let's grab some lunch at this place first, and then go shopping?
Kibum: Yeah it's okay.
You: Where do you want to eat and shop?
Kibum: Whatever you want. You choose.

Donghae

You: Let's take a walk around here first before going back to the hotel.
Donghae: Okay! Baby! Oh my god! Look at this! So cool right! Oh my god! Look there! Baby let's go there! Baby you see that anot! Wow!
[Two hours later]
You: I'm kind of tired, maybe we should go back now?
Donghae: Okay! Oh my god! Baby! Look, got tuk-tuk! We sit the tuk-tuk okay!
You: What? No way!
Donghae: Hah. Go lah baby! Please please! Go lah! See so cool! So fun! Please baby please! Go lahhhhhh!
You: I don't want to!
Donghae: But it'll be so fun! Baby go lah. I protect you okay! See I hold you! We can enjoy the tuk-tuk! Please lah babyyyy. Pleeeeease!
You: Okay fine!
[15 minutes later]
You: Where is this place?
Donghae: Eh... I told the tuk-tuk guy to take us to Holiday Inn what! What is this place siah!
You: ... Our hotel is the Hilton, not the Holiday Inn!
Donghae: Hahhhh! Okay lah baby we take taxi this time okay? Come we take taxi, I pay okay baby! I pay!

Sungmin

You: What are we doing today?
Sungmin: Oh, I did some research on Wikipedia and guess what, there's a famous museum nearby! I was thinking, we could spend the day there? And later at dinner time we can get on the subway and head to this restaurant, it's supposed to be awesome!
You: Sounds good! Have you decided what to do for tomorrow?
Sungmin: Yeah I drew up an itinerary for us for the whole week, actually! We'll go over it during dinner, okay? Then you can tell me if there's any places you don't want to go, or anywhere you want to add!

Yesung

You: Who are you calling?
Yesung: Mother, I'm telling her all about the holiday! She says she loves how the scenery sounds, and she got really excited when I told her about the turtle sanctuary! If we come back next time, let's bring her along!
You: ... Maybe not.
Yesung: Oh... Well we can discuss this another time! Uh, what are we doing today?
You: Nothing! It's not like you can walk after you sprained your knee and fell on a rock after getting us lost on the mountain trail yesterday!

Siwon

You: What do we have planned for today?
Siwon: Well firstly, we're going to have breakfast. I've told the butler to serve you your favourite Eggs Benedict. I've also told my helicopter pilot to be on standby, if you'd like to visit the islands nearby for some snorkelling. And I thought that for dinner, maybe we could have it on the beach, near the coral reef? I've arranged for everything to be set up already.

Hyukjae:

You: What would you like to do today?
Hyukjae: Go walk walk lor.
You: I'm thinking of going to this mall... I read that there's this shop that sells exquisite handmade porcelain figurines. I thought I could buy some for home.
Hyukjae: Wah. Handmade ah. How much they cost siah?
You: Depends on size, but they probably range between $200 to $1200?
Hyukjae: WHATTTTT?! Dear ah, I tell you, you don't waste money on this kind of thing!
You: But they're really pretty!
Hyukjae: Dear, I tell, we go to that pasar malam bazaar thing near the hotel. Can just walk, no need take taxi, plus sure got your porcelain things.
You: A pasar malam doesn't sell handmade figurines!
Hyukjae: Okay lah dear, when we get back home, I call Kangin and help you ask, okay? He sure got this kind of lobang one! Or Siwon will have!


----

TELL ME NOT THAT THESE SCENARIOS ARE NOT /ENTIRELY/ PLAUSIBLE.

Date: 2011-08-16 05:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ky-rin.livejournal.com
as long as limpeh pay I will go....


how is sungmin such a perfect boyfriend you tell me

Date: 2011-08-16 03:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catskilt.livejournal.com
idk but he is the only one in all these scenarios that I do not feel the urge to punch. XD

Date: 2011-08-16 05:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ky-rin.livejournal.com
o god eeteuk would go to a maid cafe

Date: 2011-08-16 05:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ky-rin.livejournal.com
kibum is such a doormat. but I guess if got money still naemind.

but donghae needs a punch in the face

Date: 2011-08-16 03:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catskilt.livejournal.com
Kibum is just very passive and "anything you say lorrrr"!

MY POOR DONGHAE. BUT HE WOULD TOTALLY BE THE PUNCHABLE KIND. XDDDD

Date: 2011-08-16 06:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellazeee.livejournal.com
HAHA idk why but your post made me crack up suddenly about halfway down the page when I could totally start hearing them say these things in my head in the appropriate voices. Also, restless hyperactive kid Donghae is epic. |D

Date: 2011-08-16 03:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catskilt.livejournal.com
IKR. omg, him and the tuk-tuk!

Date: 2011-08-16 10:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] htenywg.livejournal.com
LOL SUNGMIN IS THE PERFECT BOYFRIEND.

also Donghae and Kibum are the most "Singaporean" out of the lot.

wah lau Hyukjae sibei cheapskate man

also lol-ing forever at Kangin screaming "LAO CHEEEEEEBYEEEE," at the top of his lungs.

Date: 2011-08-16 03:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catskilt.livejournal.com
YOU KNOW HE WOULD BE.

Oh my god we had so many scenarios okay, including buying cherries at Giant (though Hyukjae will only go to Sheng Siong), and trying to find a lost dog, and idek what!

Date: 2011-08-16 04:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] htenywg.livejournal.com
IT'S SO UNFAIR T_T WHY DOES NO SUCH MAN EXIST

buying cherries >.> to do what, pop ah

Date: 2011-08-16 12:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/amaelamin_/
i just cracked up at ryeowook's 'hehe'. THIS IS WHAT YOU AND SHEENA GET UP TO WHEN IM NOT AROUND! hilarious la haha.

Date: 2011-08-16 03:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catskilt.livejournal.com
I think we spent over an hour talking about this and cracking up so hard, it's even funnier when you act it out XDDD

Date: 2011-08-16 03:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meiface.livejournal.com
hahahaha everyone, oh god, cheapskate Hyuk and in-love-with-the-sea Donghae and gamer Kyu. Conversations with Sheena always seem to end up in cracky SJ scenarios, I feel.

Date: 2011-08-16 03:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catskilt.livejournal.com
This all stemmed from me saying how I wasn't attracted to Siwon but thought he would make a good boyfriend, which then led to us discussing the boyfriend merits of SJ, which led to me saying that Kibum would be the type to be like "Oh, okay. No, it's okay, I don't have to taste your food. ....But, yeah, it looks good." and then we went on for the next one hour. XDDDD

Date: 2011-08-17 01:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pregnantcigar.livejournal.com
lmao omg lol irl

Date: 2011-08-17 04:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catskilt.livejournal.com
could you understand most of it? :D

Date: 2011-08-17 04:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silentdictator.livejournal.com
Kyuhyun's "scenes" made me smiles so hard. And Donghae. Totally plausible.

Date: 2011-08-18 09:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hitamyu.livejournal.com
LOOOOOOOL. LOL. they're all genuine and really IC xD and suddenly the perfect boyfriend to me seems sungmin :DD /anyway still fangirls donghae the most and wants to marry henry XDDD

Date: 2011-08-18 04:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teexsaurus.livejournal.com
HAHAHAHA SUNGMIN~~~ SUNGMIN!!!

he is perrrrrfect!!! lalalalala /fangirls like siao

Date: 2011-08-20 09:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] almightyblinger.livejournal.com
Kangin: Ka ni nah, got mosquito bite. Eh wah lau why never bring the mosquito repellent? EH YOU DIAM LAH YOU DARE SUCK LIMPEH'S BLOOD I KAN YOU TILL YOU SIBEH FLAT ON THE GROUND!!!!!! LAO CHEEBYEEEE!!!

oh god. oh god. i never would've thought that this day would come at all. i cannot ;________;

and god, EUNHAE PLEASE COME TO KL KAHSGFKLASFBAKGSB

Date: 2011-08-21 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sanjihan.livejournal.com
I knew there was a reason I liked Sungmin. XD

Seriously... What is this crack? Laughing so hard.

Date: 2011-08-27 02:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ununoriginal.livejournal.com
I can't believe I'm saying this, but siwon totally cracks me up :D

Date: 2011-09-05 08:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thundersquall.livejournal.com
OH MY GOD I SAW THIS LIKE 2 WEEKS LATE BUT LMFAO IT STILL CRACKS ME UP SFM :'DDDD

WE SHOULD HAVE PUT IN THE LOST DOG SCENARIO LAH, THAT ONE IS DAMN THE SEH ONE CAN.

Date: 2011-12-06 03:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bananamilkhyuk.livejournal.com
Stingy!Hyukjae, HAHAHAHHA :D
Oh Sungmin, Can I be your girlfriend?
And KANGIN!!!! OH MY GOSH I MISSED HIM SO MUCH!
I can picturing he talks with these accents! :p

I'm not Singaporean but I kinda get it :)
Thanks for writing!

Date: 2012-08-15 06:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] haeppytrail.livejournal.com
Eunhyuk: Harrr….errrrr, eh, dear ar, I saw in newspapers today that Tiger got promo to KL, only $1!

Donghae: BABY!!! HYUKJAE SAY GO KL! GOT GOOD AIRFARE!!!


MY FACE IS CONTORTED INTO UGLY THINGS.

BECAUSE.

FUGLY............ SOBBING.

;A;

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